steaming envy

Steam Room.  Steely, takes-no-shit looking Welsh mother, late 30s enters with blank but friendly young daughter, mid-teens.Daughter: gaw, it smells in yur doesnit?

Mum: yeh, they put summink on the thing down there.

They settle and breathe, enjoying the fumes, although Mum retains a general look of hard disapproval at the world.

Daughter: This is making a mess of my fake tan.


Daughter:  Stef Jones just got back from Jamaica, she has.  Lovely tan.

Mum: What’s er Mum’s name?

Daughter: Can’t remember.  Young mum.  Works in the bank, I think.


Mum (having thought hard): Claire.

Daughter: That’s it!

Mum: ay noes her.  Natwest.  On the counter.

Mum’s disapproving face stronger than ever.

Mum: who’d she go to Jamaica with then?

Daughter: boyfriend and his family.

Mum: Ah right.

Mum smoulders, steams.


3 Responses to steaming envy

  1. annajskye says:

    this made me smile……I have never been in a steam room but as I signed on the dotted line last night and now belong to a local gym I may soon do that.

    I can understand the jealousy, I suffered from it big style last summer but not this year. Not that I begrudge anyone a holiday but it would be nice to go somewhere sometime. My time will soon come I expect.

    Do you know any men decent middle aged men who would like to take a mature woman away somewhere nice?

    lol only joking

  2. swashbuckled says:

    I don’t know any decent men. We’re all bastards. Just be brave and book something for yourself. You’ll meet people. I’ve been doing that for longer than I care to say – though a decent impression can be given by clicking the Travel tab above. Old friend of mine’s catchphrase was / is: “better than sittin at ‘ome, innit?” Most experience is just that.

    • annajskye says:

      ha ha I am not afraid of going alone …….I went on holidays alone when I was younger…….now I am afraid it is more a matter of cost……along with the joys of being a single mother there is also the small matter of never having enough of the hard stuff….but as my fledglings are rapidly finding their wings I won’t have much longer before I only have myself to worry about.

      Don’t be so hard on yourself or other men I know there are some decent men among you 🙂

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